Brooks 3rd Birthday

Well, it's been 3 years since we said hello and goodbye to our sweet boy. I feel like it was a lifetime ago, yet I remember every detail like it was an hour ago.

I am so thankful I still remember every little thing about his delivery and time in our arms. I hope they never fade away. My mom asked me what I thought about when I think of 3 years ago. I told her I just think of exactly what was going on at that time 3 years ago. I in turn asked her what she thought about. She thinks of when I phoned her with the news. She also told me that she pictures Brooks in Heaven a lot. I'm not sure why, but I rarely do. I usually just think of what we experienced. Calling Denny to come over to that last doctor's appointment, watching America's Funniest Home Videos while we waited for medicine to work, holding Brooks in while we waited for our family to arrive at the hospital, taking a nap with him on my chest and leaving the hospital empty handed. Those vivid memories help me feel close to Brooks. I know he's in Heaven praising and worshiping our Heavenly Father and I'm incredibly grateful for that. But for now, I like remembering our time spent together.

To celebrate Brooks 3rd birthday we made a cake at my parents house-it was plate licking good:)


The whole family dressed in blue and we went to Build-A-Bear and MB made a bear. We asked her repeatedly all day who's birthday it was. We'd tell her Brooks, her brother, and then we'd ask her where he was and she learned he lives with Jesus. Momma forgot her camera so these are cell phone pictures.


Then we rode the train in the mall and walked around.


3 balloons (1 popped) decorated our mailbox all day in Brooks' honor. Each year we plan to buy a toy or clothes for his age and go donate them as a family.


Brooks actual birthday isn't usually as difficult as the days and weeks leading up. Those first couple weeks of September hit a little harder. The weather turns cooler and my mind just floods back to Brooks final days. The actual birthday is good family time spent doing something he would have liked. We just enjoy being together.

I will say the past 2 nights Satan has tried to invade my thoughts with terrible things happening to Kate and Macy Brooks. I checked on them constantly while they slept. I prayed for them even more than usual. I panicked when Macy Brooks spiked a fever. It's like as the time comes to celebrate and remember Brooks, I grip tightly to those loved ones I do have. I scramble to try and control something, since I couldn't and can't control what happened to Brooks. Strange I know, but that's what happens.

This is what we do every weekend morning, pile in our bed (this is at my parent's house) and watch tv and snuggle and giggle. It's the best way to start your day! I'm very thankful for these to blessings that bring joy to Denny and I. It made this morning a whole lot easier:)

Brooks, we miss you so much and cannot wait to see you again! Thank you Jesus for scooping Brooks in your arms and welcoming him to Heaven to praise you!