Surprise Sadness

Grief still ceases to amaze me. It can pop up in the most unusual circumstances. Your day can be going great, good weather, good mood-all is well. And then, BOOM-it seems to appear from thin air.

While we were at the beach, D and I kept this little cutie while his parents ran out one night. I was holding him and then it was time for Miss MB to eat so D and I switched babies. I'm feeding our daughter and I happen to glance over to the sofa where my hubby sits holding Mr. K. Sweet little baby boy is propped up over Denny's shoulder and they were just hanging out. As I looked their way I was struck by the view of D holding a baby boy. Tears rushed to my eyes and I had to fight hard to hold them back. Now why would it upset me so much to see him holding K? I see him snuggling Macy Brooks all the time and grief never strikes me in that fashion. So weird. I'm pretty sure I can expect things like that to happen for the rest of my life. I just don't think it will ever completely go away. I miss my son.