But I miss saying his name and seeing it written out. I hate I have no reason to say "Brooks" over and over on a daily basis. Now I can only resort to spelling it out in pizza dough at restaurants or in rocks at a shopping center in Vermont
It sounds silly, but I even miss using my cute little diaper bag. I was ready to forgo a purse for the next few years and throw my wallet and lip gloss in this adorable bag.
I really cringe thinking how this cozy and peaceful feeling room no longer has a purpose. It's no good I only go in there by choice to look around or do my quiet time. I miss the need to use this room. To have to go in there for clothes, diaper changes and nap times. It's not right that there are still 2 blank picture frames in the center of the furniture I saved up for 12 months to purchase.
I'm sad there will be no more naps with this sweet baby boy on my chest. It was one of the things I dreamed of most during my pregnancy. I was determined to hold him as often as I wanted. Leave the dishes piled in the sink and the dog hair on the floor and nap and soak in my newborn babe.
Who knew grief had so many levels? This is a part I wasn't expecting to experience.
13 comments:
Ashly,
My heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry for your pain.
...in loving memory of your sweet Brooks...
Hugs and prayers,
Amanda
You are so right, Ashly... it is SO much more than just losing your son. It's losing all of those hopes, dreams, wishes, and all the things that should have, would have, and could have been.
I am right there with you... and I am praying...
~ Stacy
praying for you daily friend. i love you dearly!
"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
Psalm 34:18
I am praying for you right now. I pray that God will comfort your heart while you experience all the emotions. I pray that He will bless you and your family.
I'm crying and hurting for you. All I can think is please God help!!! I have no words of comfort for you. I can only imagine that you feel the worst pain there is to feel in this life. I can only ask the one and only comforter to come and wrap you in his arms. I know one thing, and that is when you cross to the other side into forever you will hold that baby in your arms again. Jesus will hand him to you. Maybe you can think on that. Love...big hug
I think of you daily Ashly, you and D both. I pray god will comfort you both.
Terry
I hate that you feel like this Ash. I'm praying for you still. NYC should provide some ultimate retail therapy!! :)
Sending healing thoughts your way.
My heart breaks for you, Ashly. I'm praying for your continued healing, and I'm praying that God will show you His purpose soon. Your nursery is precious; your dreams are precious. I'm praying specifically for your dreams to come true. Love you.
heartbroken for you my dear friend, the tears are streaming. love you, denny, and brooks so much!
I just finished reading Revelation and it says that God will wipe all our tears away and there will be no more sadness. In the meantime, know that you are loved and prayed for by a mass of people everyday. Also, I am SO proud of your honesty on this blog. I love that I know how to specifically pray for you. You keep writing and I'll keep praying!
I was thinking about your blog. I believe fellow blog readers would agree that your blog is very humbling to us all. Thank you for being so open with us all. God is using your site to teach so many.
Ashly,
I just watned you to know that I am reading this and praying for you. I cannot begin to understand the pain that you are going through. Please know that I'm calling on our BIG GOD who in deed knows all things.
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