It has always bugged me that Brooks didn't get a real birth certificate. I hate it. It actually makes me cringe.
We did however, get a death certificate. Oh, lucky us.
Not having a bc makes me upset because it feels as though Brooks isn't acknowledged. His life doesn't count. He was never here. Never apart of this life. It almost relates to the Sneak Peak, Part 1 post I did several weeks back. You're not a mom until you birth your child and the child lives. And you don't get a birth certificate unless you're born with a beating heart.
If I really sit and think about the logistics of birth, I guess it makes a tiny bit of sense. I guess there has to be a line drawn somewhere. I mean, I'm not all worked up about our 14 week and 6 week babies not having birth certificates. But, Brooks lived for so long, he was thriving and living life inside of me. I just want that to be acknowledged. Not just in our friend and family circle, but by outsiders and the government. Him not having this sheet of paper also doesn't do a good job of recognizing all the hard work I did to birth that boy.
Why do we even celebrate his "birth" day. His birth isn't even recognized by this country. How did he get out? Why even provide him with a death certificate? None of this makes sense. How can this sweet boy of mine have a dc, but not a bc? How jacked up is that?
I'll try to end on a positive thought: In my mind, at least having a death certificate proves to the world that he was here and he did live. For a short little while, but he did live.
12 years ago
6 comments:
we are in TX and if you mail in this paper to the right department you can gladly PAY for a certificate of stillbirth... humm....
Same in Virginia. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to at least have a Certificate of stillbirth, but was definitely disappointed when we got it. It looked like it was printed in some random printer - like something I could have done at home and certainly didn't look as official as a birth certificate, but I guess it's better than nothing. I totally hear ya, Ashly. It's so wrong.
Sweet Girl, I can't believe I randomly logged in to look at your precious baby photo's today and read this part of your blog. The most important person in my life (Besides my children) was my Grandmother. She was born in a rural area in Georgia in 1923, at home, and NEVER had a birth certificate. I can remember being a child and her having trouble with doing something random we all take for granted all because no one ever issued her a birth certificate. I still celebrate her birthday which is the date and place and time HER mother said it was. There was never a government paper trail to prove she was born but yet she touched my life so. Your son has touched so many and is loved and carried in your heart and others. I know this doesn't make up for what you want the world to acknowledge, but he did live and was a part of you and he still is and always will be. Just as my grandmother is a part of me. This world and it's silly practices or ideas can't take that away from a Mother.
I know this isn't the same thing as a birth certificate, but my son Ethan was also born still in Georgia and we're hoping to get a Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth. You have to call to get it, and I haven't had the nerve yet, but I wanted to pass it along in case you weren't aware.
http://atlantapnl.com/CBRS.aspx
They aren't fully there yet, but at least they are making a step in the right direction to acknowledge their precious lives.
wow. i have never thought about all that. that is completely retarded you dont get a birth certificate. Makes no sense to me. Has anyone ever tried to pass legislation for it?? I'm on board. The squeaky wheel gets the oil and I know a lot of people...
I don't know if this helps at all, but I believe that all that most people want out of life is to make an impact. And I can tell you that Mr. Brooks Tucker made an impact in my life. So as far as I am concerned he is/was alive as much as any of us are.
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