Beware

If you have lost a baby anytime in the past 81 years or so, beware of the mall. I didn't think twice about it today when I needed a few gifts. This morning was going well....I got a lot of tasks accomplished at work and had a nice lunch with my team members. When I headed to the mall after work I was actually excited to do some shopping.

Things did not go as planned and it turned into a miserable night.

I accidentally passed by the area where adorable babies and children were climbing on Santa's lap dressed in their Christmas best and having pictures made. I have officially cried everywhere; work, home, church, my car, and now Hallmark and Walden Books. I was crying so hard at Hallmark, a random employee was compelled to give me a hug. I should have known, even their commercials make me cry!

All I wanted to do was find a nice ornament to have engraved for our tree to represent our beautiful Brooks. I wandered all over that mall and nothing seemed right. They were either too cheesy, too heavy, too expensive, or too ugly. I'm usually a fast decision maker. I know what I want and that's that. Not tonight.

Actually, I do know what I want. I want my baby here in our arms.

Then get this....when I decided I couldn't be in the mall any longer, I was lost! I had no idea where I parked. I thought and thought and remembered Macy's. Well, this Macy's is quite large. I had no idea what floor, what department or anything! I was such a mess. I actually went out one door and wandered around the parking lot(in the dark and pouring rain believe it or not!) pressing the alarm button on my key chain to locate the car! Finally realizing it wasn't anywhere remotely close I had to go back inside and try another door on another floor. Thankfully, the second try was good and I was able to escape the insanity. If you know me at all, I never act like this. I'm usually organized with a list in hand. And I have NEVER forgotten where I've parked. Who am I? Where's Ashly? If you see her, let her know I'm looking for her.

This week has been a little bit harder because Denny's on his first business trip since everything happened and I did not do a good job of making "dates" to be with friends. He called while I was in the mall to inform me the project is not going well and he may not be able to come home on Friday. Out come more tears in the middle of the bookstore along with lots of weird looks from fellow shoppers. I'm hoping he can at least come home for the weekend and just go back next week.

I'm off to the gym. That always helps me feel better. But remember peeps.....

Beware of the mall!