This Stinks

I'm trying to enjoy the Christmas season, I really am. But the sadness has a strong hold on me. After a l-o-n-g discussion (to put it politely) with my sweet hubby over whether to purchase a real tree or a fake one, he agreed to buy a real one so I can enjoy the smell and keep with tradition. I'm thankful he let me have my way and the house already smells like Christmas, but as soon as we got it settled in the tree stand the sad feelings came on strong. I was trying to ignore them and focus on fun things, like pulling out my favorite decor, but my mind wasn't having it. There's supposed to be a cutie little boy here to share Christmas 2008 with, a baby's first Christmas ornament to place on the tree, a tiny 3rd stocking to hang from the mantel, a struggle to get the shopping done because of nap and feeding schedules and a photo Christmas card of our family of 3. But no, not this year-again. There are only 2 stockings hanging, only a remembrance ornament to purchase,the shopping will be a breeze since I can go whenever I want and our card will only show our family of 2. It's not supposed to be like this. There's only one way to put it-THIS STINKS