Before I get into our fun & busy weekend, I must say this....I feel like a crazy person, and yes I mean more crazy than my usual crazy! Ha! What I mean is that one day I'm up and the next day I'm down. It's almost like every other day I'm sad. Thursday I was pretty down in the dumps all day, then Friday I was okay. Saturday I held it together and had a lot of fun, but inside I was very sad and had a hard time not breaking down on several occasions. Going to all those fun places was enjoyable, but would have been even more fun with Brooks. When we planned for Lindsay and Brandon to come down and visit, we planned it with the idea of them coming to see little man. And now that he's not here it was just hard thinking we should have been toting him along all weekend. What a bummer:( Back to my roller coaster self--Sunday I was happy, hence the post below about Denny and I having a great night. I couldn't have cried if I wanted to. However, Monday was the complete opposite and I struggled to make it through the day and not climb in bed at 5:00 for the rest of the night. I ran these emotions and concerns of being a psycho by my friend
Katie who lives in my neighborhood. She lost her triplet girls 11/6/07 when she went into labor at 23 weeks. Katie assured me that she had the same roller coaster of emotions. So I'm proud to announce that hopefully I'm not as crazy as I feel!
Okay, on to the fun stuff:)
This past Friday night my cousin Lindsay and her boyfriend Brandon came to visit. We hung out on Friday night and watched a movie. Saturday morning we got up and went to the World of Coca Cola downtown. It was recently re-done and they did a great job. There are several things to do: a 4D movie, cool exhibits, and of course the taste test room to sample coke products from around the world. Then we headed to the Varsity for some yummy grease:) We took the afternoon off and came home to watch football for the rest of the night. Enjoy the pics!
Ashly & Lindsay in the Factory
Silly Ashly
Love Birds
And that was just Saturday! Our dear friends, Chris and Angie called us with last minute tickets to the Falcons game that afternoon. We had a great time:) The Falcons beat the Saints pretty good!
Denny and I are headed to Vermont to see our sweet friends,
Natalie and Wayne on Thursday morning, so stay tuned for pictures next week! Please pray for safe travels.
And that was just Saturday! Our dear friends, Chris and Angie called us with last minute tickets to the Falcons game that afternoon. We had a great time:) The Falcons beat the Saints pretty good!
6 comments:
Ashly,
I just ran across your blog & wanted to tell you that I've been praying for you. Beth Perkins told me about your sweet Brooks after he was born, and that's when I started praying. I hope that you can feel prayers from all over. I can't tell you I know what you're going through, but I can tell you that God is sovereign & has you in His palm. But, you know that:) I am amazed at your strength in reading your posts.
Take care, thank you for the updates!
Kristen (Fredrickson) Bailey
Ashly,
Your blog has become a new favorite of mine. I've been accused by others of being a "bluker", so I thought I'd leave you a comment and tell you that. Here's a virtual hug ( ) from me for being the bravest woman I know.
Ashly, we have mutual friends and I worked at NP until this past May. I went into preterm labor at 23 weeks and we lost our precious Angel (we hadnt picked out a name before she was born) on March 7th 2006. Reading your blog is like reliving the whole thing. Its an absolute nightmare - no other way to describe it. Your posts are only scratching the surface - I know.
BUT, life does return, JOY abounds even more than before, and the Lord does fill in the deep chasm of pain. You will NEVER forget and even 2 and a half years later I can cry (that HARD sobbing cry of disbelief and pain) at the drop of a hat (like right now!) And I cannot WAIT to see my sweet Angel in heaven. I think about her all the time - how old she would be now, what she would be doing/learning/saying. But at the very same time, life has a sweetness to it and I experience joy in a way that I never did before. Where we sow tears we reap a harvest of JOY. That is a promise that I cling to - and its a promise that God has made true in my life. And I KNOW He will in yours.
DO NOT short circuit this process you are going through - the days are LONG and painful and that is OK. Live where you are right now and let God heal it as He will. I know you are doing that, I just want to encourage you that it does work :) Because sometimes I wasnt sure myself.
Love, Kristin Richardson
Ashly,
Man I tell you what for you not being a blogger before you are really good at it. I love reading about whats going on in your brain :) Thanks for sharing!
I love you dearly-
Rachael
Ashly,
I just wanted to say I had fun Monday and I am glad you all came over for dinner. I meant what I said when I told you that I went through those same intense emotions and roller coaster rides last year. I can't say it will ever go away completely but it will get better. Those days when the pain is so intense you can hardly breath will become fewer as time passes. I yelled at God, I cried to Him, I felt like He forgot me and ultimately I clung to Him like never before. He is holding you so close right now, let yourself feel every emotion, time and faith will help to heal your heart. You will never be the same person you were before you met Brooks but you will be OK again and his memory will pull you through. Remember how much fun Brooks is having with my girls in heaven, we will be with them someday. I am thining about you and praying for you daily. I am always here.
Katie
Ashly,
I am so glad you are having some good times. God is holding you so close to Him, and I trust in His sovereignty. You are healing. You are growing. You are a child of God. I pray for you daily, and I hope you can feel the blanket of grace that surrounds you.
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