1 Samuel 1:10 "....Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord."
This sums up the past couple hours for me, weeping much and praying to God. Hannah was sad because the "Lord had closed up her womb" (v.5) and right now I can understand how she was feeling. It's a sleepless night for me so far. My heart is aching, and I mean physically aching, because I am missing my baby so much. I want him here more than anything. I long to watch Denny hold and love on him. I want to see how Sierra(our 4 legged daughter) would watch over him. I want to get up in the middle of the night with him and enjoy our alone time. I was looking forward to seeing the joy in the grandparents' eyes as they spoiled him. I couldn't wait to have strangers in the grocery store oooh and aahh over him. Tonight there are many broken dreams and the sadness is sitting heavy, but I'm still clinging to hope. I know God is taking the best care of my sweet boy and he his experiencing nothing short of absolute joy and peace as he praises God day and night. I trust that God will give me the desires of my heart someday. I do not believe He has given me such a strong desire to be a mom in vain-He will fulfill that desire.
1 Samuel 1:20 "So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, "Because I asked the Lord for him."
Goodnight
12 years ago
13 comments:
Praying for you sweet friend. Your Samuel will come...
I miss him too and i'm praying for your samuel that God will bless you with him soon!
Ashly, you don't know me, but please know I am and have been praying for you and Denny.
You are right, I am crying for you and because I miss him too...thank you for the beautiful story of Hannah.
Hey Ash...what a beautiful display of words. I'm sorry you're not sleeping...I'm sorry your heart is heavy. I will pray that God will hold you in His hand as He is holding sweet Brooks also...Shannon is right..your Samuel will come!
Dear Ashly -
I am going to have to write you more - maybe you can send me your email address. I know about you because we both belong to a club we didn't sign up for. When I heard Andy's sermon, I cried all over again - that someone else had to go through what we did - on January 27, 2006. I will write more, but know that I am praying for you - and I hope Fitz and Brooks are right now sitting on our Father's lap. Someone told me that God holds us in his arms - and that he holds our babies in heaven - so if we pray for him to hold us, then we are holding our babies too. ella eherlihy@mac.com
My sweet friend...oh, I wish so badly that I could change this for you guys. But praise the Lord, we can hope and trust in a mighty, all-powerful, all-knowing God! I am praying and BELIEVING that your Samuel is soon to come!
Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing the emotions of this journey with us. I appreciate it and continue to pray with confidence in his hope.
Ashly, so glad I found your blog and you decided to share your story! You have been in my prayers and will continue to be! My heart aches with yours as I read your words, but I do believe it will rejoice with yours one day too! :)
Love, Kristen
I'm so glad you have a blog! I have been praying for you and Denny! I can't imagine the heartache, but I do know that in the midst of it all God still loves you and longs for you! I'll continue to pray for you!
Love,
Chelsea
Ashly, my heart aches for you both! You know you being lifted up daily. I pray for you both, and trust that God will bless you with your Samuel! You are such a precious friend, love you!
I love your honesty and your faithful heart. Your Samuel will come. I am praying for you often. Keep your head up...it's easier to see God that way.
It brings me peace to know they will only know God's love, peace, and joy. That they will never know the pain and sorrows of this world.
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